i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
