Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
