I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Me too!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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