I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Randomize
