So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
