your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
