thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
