You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
