i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
