She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
