Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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