Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
