8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
