Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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