come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
