We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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