he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
