he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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