her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.