if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found your dick twin last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex