We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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