dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
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