Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
