Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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