I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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