she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
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so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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