lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize