i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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