Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
