he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
