Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
