NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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