if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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