He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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