At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
