If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
