Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
