Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
