your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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