what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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