ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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