You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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