This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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