white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
