So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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