cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
