I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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