we're chasing vodka with high fives
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
