do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
