Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
