I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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