shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Randomize