I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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