He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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