Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
