I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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