I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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